So you’ve worked up the nerve to attend a singles event, you’re excited, nervous and the day has finally arrived.  You’re ready, you have several hours in the company of other beautiful femmes but how you do break the ice, feel confident and get the most from the event? 


Here’s a few of our top tips:

Be in the right frame of mind


New social situations are awkward enough without dashing out the house all stressed over some Facebook debate on fracking or family arguement about your Sister’s wedding plans. Spend the day de-stressing doing positive things for yourself, go to the gym, read, chill, be open to having a great time and enjoy getting ready. If you’ve a got a busy day and can’t do all of these at least allow yourself an hour or so to have a long soak and detox from the day’s chores. You’ll come across as that cool, calm, accomplished ‘have it all’ woman the mainstream magazines are always telling us about.


Look the part


It goes without saying if you’re on a first date (or ideally even well into the relationship) you want to look your best in front of that gorgeous woman. At a singles event you’re going to be surrounded by lots of lovely women so this applies even more. Wear something that makes you feel great that others have complimented you on in the past and spend a bit of time on the things that make you feel most ‘polished’ whether that’s makeup, nails, hair or perfume. Yes you want to be yourself, but yourself at your best and hottest. Let’s face it if you go to a few of these events it won’t be long until you’re in a relationship again, you then have all the time in the world to cosy up on the sofa in matching cat print onesies, now is not it! Enjoy the process of making yourself look and feel great and giving others the chance to notice.


Mingle....with everyone!


Naturally at these things it’s easy to start talking to one person, typically the one who’s closest to the entrance when you arrive and stick to them like glue throughout the evening but it’s a mingles event for a reason. You’re there to meet lots of people, see someone enter on her own and look uncomfortable? Invite her into the conversation by introducing yourself and giving her a quick heads up on what you’ve been talking about. Even if you’ve already decided the first woman you talked to is the one you’re most interested in by making everyone else feel welcome and included you get to show her your great social skills and ability to make people feel at ease! How could she resist?


Be attentive and be original

So you’ve got chatting to a woman you’d like leave with a great impression of yourself. Ask her about herself and her interests. If at the beginning of the night she mentioned she loves European art house cinema (and you’re more into Netflix binges and Gogglebox) consult with you ever trusty friend Google and then return to her later in the night and mention that upcoming

Almadova festival you’ve just found out about. If she has amazingly piercing blue eyes that you imagine yourself drowning in don’t mention them she probably gets complimented about them all the time. Focus on something else like her skirt or the way she carries herself, originality goes a long way.


What you should talk about....

You want women to walk away finding you intriguing intriguing, tell her about your hobbies and your passions, the music you like, what brings you to life and gets you excited (within reason of course it’s still the early stages). What is it that surprises friends about you? Maybe you’re an accountant by day but run a yoga retreat in the summer, discuss these things. People are attracted to people who have a well rounded and bring something new to the table so don’t be afraid to take the conversation outside the safe zone of “so, what do you do for a living?”


And subjects to avoid...

Keep it light at this stage, maybe how they voted for Brexit really is a deal breaker but you can find these things out when you’ve actually secured a date, leave politics and religion off the menu for now, along with anecdotes of drunken antics and whingeing about your exes, that tells her how you’re going to talk about her if things don’t go any further. And if you run into an ex? Well it is lesbian land, handle it with grace. Smile, say hello, however DO NOT do that lesbian thing of reverting back to your old relationship roles, checking on her life, work, great aunts hip replacement etc. Her part in your story is complete, you’re here to discover the next chapter! So go mingle!


Most importantly - have fun! The most attractive woman in the room is always the one that’s the most irrepressibly in love with life! 


Amber Stevens is a Pink Lobster Dating & Matchmaking Ambassador based in the North West of England.

Amber Stevens is a Pink Lobster Dating & Matchmaking Ambassador based in the North West of England.

Amber has worked in the marketing, publishing and digital worlds over the last 10 years. She took an active role in developing the European HQ for an INC 500 American company as European Sales Director in 2008 where she worked with international brands such as Marie Claire, Vodafone and BBC, producing digital versions of their custom magazines and increasing ad revenue and circulation. Amber is inspired by a strong sense of social justice and a desire to leave things a little better than she found them and has put this into practice acting as Women's Officer at University, working on various LGBT campaigns and more recently campaigning with the Labour Party. Amber is currently Marketing Manager for a creative agency in Manchester, alongside running her own consultancy, offering marketing services to small businesses across the North West. Outside of this Amber with and supports greyhound protection group CAGED NW to help raise awareness of the exploitation and cruelty involved in the greyhound industry.