There are many terrifying moments in our lives. There are those that some presume will be terrifying and there are those that are inevitably terrifying yet made inexplicably worse by uncomfortable circumstances.
We all remember our school or university exams. We all recall the first time that we had sex… or at least think we remember it the next day. There is also, of course, the day that you move in with your first girlfriend. For many lesbians this becomes pretty standard after the third or fourth time or the second or third date!
It is fair to say, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is one moment in all lesbians’ lives that is the most frightening of them all… This is the day that you ‘Meet Her Parents’! This is obviously a feared moment in any couples lives, lesbian, straight, gay or bisexual.
So with all these emotions flying around, like Removal Vans in lesbian districts, it is vital to WAIT to ‘Tell the Parents’ until you are 100% certain that you want to be with her for the long haul!
Now if the reality of ‘Meeting Her Parents’ was not bad enough, here are a few things NOT TO SAY when the day of reckoning finally comes….
1. (To her mum) ‘Hope that she looks as hot as you at your age.’
2. (To her mum) ‘We’d like you to be our surrogate.’
3. ‘I really enjoyed the lasagne tonight; it tastes almost as good as your daughter.’
4. ‘Wonderful Christmas dinner thanks! Can we borrow the baster?’
5. ‘Don’t worry, no need to dice up the cucumber… it’s not for sandwiches.’
6. ‘Maybe YOU can get your daughter to cut her fingernails.’
7. ‘I can’t believe our cycles have not synched already.’
8. ‘I know it’s only our second date, but how much do you want for my share of the rent?’
9. ‘Flopsy is lovely, but when we said we wanted a rabbit for Christmas we didn’t mean…’
10. ‘Can I trim your Christmas tree?’
In reality what may make it even more daunting for a lesbian couple?
A. You may have already been together as ‘friends’ for some time in the eyes of the parents and therefore this transitional process of explaining that you are actually lesbians may be harder.
B. Parents who are old-fashioned or unaccustomed to ‘lesbians’ may not understand and believe that they are simply friends.
C. If she has been with men until now then there may be the embarrassing need for explanations and a deeper understanding that this is not just a phase and that you are in fact a couple for the long term.
D. If one (or both) of the women has children, which is often the case, then the parents could delve into this and make the girlfriend without children feel insignificant or confused.
However, regardless of any of the above or any of the deep concerns that we have for potentially terrifying experiences such as these… it can also be one of the best and most memorable times of our lives. We often fear those moments that are the most significant. It is because she means so much to you that this is so important. There is often a mix of emotions varying from the need for mutual acceptance, the desire to impress and the reflected anxiety that our partner may be facing.
Remember when you meet her parents for the first time, be thoughtful, be yourself… and feed the cats before you leave.