If I think about feeling secure, getting other’s approval, well, I won’t lie to you, I feel good! But that’s the thing, if we want to feel good no matter what, we only need to feel secure within ourselves, to have our own approval and to feel that we are able to have the control, as we can control our thoughts and emotions. And I can tell you, your whole experience will shift! So awareness will help you to have more clarity and to understand your thought patterns until this moment in time. By being aware what will happen to you is that you’ll catch those thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve you and that make you feel a negative emotion. Remember that most of them will try to challenge your sense of security, control and approval. There’s nothing wrong with that, they’re basic human needs, but when that happens, you don’t want to let them control you and your happiness. You don’t want to either seek any external solution, you want to keep in touch with yourself to find a way to feel better in that moment so that you don’t abandon yourself and you get to feel the power that you have overall.
So what to do? The most important step is making a decision, the decision of feeling good as your main priority. If you have this decision very clear in your mind, nothing will stop you. After that, you need to listen to yourself 24/7, to be aware of all your thoughts, to adjust the ones that don’t feel good to you and to move them into something that feels good to you. Then, you’ll be able to overwrite them and to deliberately create your own reality. Don’t try to do this all at once, just one step at a time. I know, I’ve done it and I keep doing it and it’s really hard, but trust me too, it’s worth it, because each time it’s easier and things in your life become more amazing every day. I’m not kidding. We’ll work with this example: you want to find a flat and the one that you really desire is in the middle of the woods, with a loch in front of it, very peaceful, with very expensive decorations. You can’t ask for that because you don’t believe for a second that you’ll get anything like it. Actually you meet someone who has a flat for you, but it’s miserable. You catch yourself with this thought that doesn’t feel good to you: “I better take this flat because despite the fact that I don’t like it I might not be able to find anything else and my friends are telling me to take it”. This thought is actually challenging your security and approval (you don’t need to know this, but I thought that would be helpful). The reason why it feels bad to you is because your inner being knows that you are already secure and it always approves you. So you’re having this fight between your physical human perspective and the infinite source within you, which is you.
It’s ok, don’t beat yourself up for having this thought, actually appreciate that you’ve been able to recognize it and that you’re on the right path. Acknowledge it and put special attention on how uncomfortable this thought feels to you. Don’t try to get over it, don’t resist it as what you resist persists. Give it the time that it needs, don’t rush it. Is it expressing itself in a particular part of your body? Does it have more thoughts or experiences associated to it? Just let it be, meet its needs and approve it as a part of you knowing that there’s nothing wrong with it.
Move it into a better feeling place by dialoguing with yourself. It could be something like: “I don’t need to decide this at this exact minute, I can do it tomorrow. There’s been other people in the same situation as I am and they were able to find a flat, so I’m sure I’ll be able to do it too”. Remember that you don’t want to fix anything wrong with you, you’re doing it because you want to feel good, because who you really are is infinite positive energy, happiness and love. Since you’re soothing and moving to a better feeling place all those beliefs, so there’s less resistance or none, you can start creating new beliefs in your mind, so you can have what you want, always feel secure...and you can ask for what you really want. It’s so important that you actually believe/know/feel within you all these “new” ideas and statements. This means that if you’re actually able to believe that you can have the flat in the woods, you can feel the whole idea flowing within you.
How can you manifest that flat in your physical reality? There are lots of techniques but I think one of the simplest ones is writing a list of all the things that you’d like that flat to have. The list is not exactly about physical stuff, it’s more about the feeling that having those things gives you. Like “I’d like it to be in nature as I feel free there”. Be as specific as you can be. That means if by writing “the flat will have a jacuzzi so I can relax” causes you resistance (maybe because you think that you don’t have the money for that, etc) don’t go there and write general things that make you feel good such as: “I’ll be able to relax in the flat”. Visualize your flat. You can download images of flats that you like and contemplate them every day if this feels good to you. Spend as much time as you can in that flat as if you already have it. Feel it with as much details as possible: colours, sounds, smells...everything. And believe, know, that the universe will deliver it to you. Don’t track the time that it’s taking, don’t keep a score about physical manifestations or if there’s none, just work on releasing resistance in your thoughts/beliefs, and on being in alignment with you and with your desires.