The best feeling in the world is falling in love. Sometimes it’s not so easy especially for women who identify as bisexual, lesbian or somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum. So we’re delighted to introduce you to Cherrelle and Kay who met through Pink Lobster Dating & Matchmaking. Here is their beautiful story… tissues recommended!
1. Introduce yourselves
I’m Cherrelle and the 29 years of my life I’ve worked so hard, that it’s about time I gave love a chance.
My names Kay. I’m 38 and I’m an old school romantic.
2. Did you have any challenges or any interesting stories about your previous dating experiences and relationships?
As sad as it sounds, I’ve always been way too busy to find love. Don’t get me wrong, I want that fairy-tale ending like everyone else, I’ve dreamt of my wedding and have an idea of how I want my future to look, but I’ve been too preoccupied with getting that secure job. There wasn’t anyone who ever caught my eye enough for me to pursue. I always thought giving your heart to someone was a big deal and I think, without knowing it, I kept mine locked away so I didn’t get hurt.
A friend referred to me once as a ‘lazy dater’. To be honest there is a fair bit of truth in that. Over the last few years, dating was never high up on my priority list. The few dates I did go on were best described as weird and wonderful. One of my many unsuccessful dating stories involves my date turning up steaming drunk, staggering side wards and slurring her words (there was no second date)! Work, family and friends filled my day and I started to give up on the possibility of meeting someone and falling in love again.
3. Was it hard to find other women for love previously?
Although I may come across quite confident, the whole ‘asking her out’ I shy away from. I am not the kind of person to have one night stands or just in it for the here and now. If I get into a relationship I have to feel it’s going somewhere, that we have something that could develop into something special. I went to the Pink Lobster event to get myself back out there. A chance to meet people in a safe environment and it was something I had never tried before. You can always try meeting people in clubs, but meeting people who are have drunk, never really does it for me. I didn’t expect to find anyone, if anything I hoped to make a few connections, people you can go out and have a laugh with.
I think in today’s world its not difficult to meet someone, its difficult to meet the right one. There’s so many apps out there, its easy to connect with someone online but it wasn’t the connection I was looking for. I promised myself I’d never settle, I’d prefer to be on my own rather than settle with someone. I always hoped that one day I’d find my soulmate and love that consumed me, turned my world upside down, something that I’d just know was forever and take away all my doubts. So I guess my expectations were high and with my label of being a lazy dater the chances of finding this type of love seemed very slim.
4. What had you tried before if anything? E.g. online dating, speed dating, matchmaking, bars, friend intros…
I’ve never tried online dating; I’ve never really trusted it. You hear horror stories on the news and you think…no. I was reluctant to try Pink Lobster, but as soon as you put your name down, it is so professionally handled that I felt I was in safe hands right from the beginning.
If I went out with friends, they would opt for the straight bars…not going to find love there I’m afraid! I am also the worst person when it comes to figuring out someone likes me. If they don’t say anything that secures it in my mind, I just think we’ve had a nice chat.
I’ve tried online dating previously with little success. It’s hard to get a real connection with someone you’ve never met before. I do believe you can fall for someone online but for me its not real love until you actually meet. My friends have got involved and taken it upon themselves to match make. They know me pretty well and this wasn’t a bad way to meet someone. Although it’s a bit like being pushed together rather than fate. For me, meeting someone in a bar was never going to happen. When I went out it was about having a good night with friends, not trying to find someone. I was never one for going on the prowl (so to speak) and meeting someone after a few jäger bombs had disaster written all over it.
5. How was your first date? And what happened next…
I remember being so nervous. I spent about 2 hours choosing what I was wearing and trying to get ready.
We went to the Button Factory, which was where we first met. I saw her car outside (which is a head turner in itself) so I knew she was in there. I had butterflies as I attempted to Parallel Park (secretly hoping she wasn’t watching me). I walked in and there she was, in a black jumpsuit! She took my breath away. My heart was racing!
We got talking and found out we had so much in common, our work, our family values and our morals all matched. It seemed so easy to talk to her and I remember laughing a lot. Every time she looked into my eyes I could feel this was something special. Time flew by and before I knew it, we had to part ways. I remember standing outside and feeling really shy. She walked up to me, held me tightly and kissed me. I still get butterflies thinking about it. Little did I know that was the beginning of my fairy-tale.
But it all changed on July 12th when I met Cherrelle. After a little encouragement I decided to attend a pink lobster singles night. I’d been to one the year before, really enjoyed it and met some lovely people. It was a great evening but I was still in the mindset that I wasn’t going to find love and I should just chalk the event up as a successful night out with a group of lovely strangers. My friend encouraged me to stop being lazy and get back out there. So off I went and I’m glad I did. When I got there and sat down the first person I saw was Cherrelle. I remember thinking she was beautiful. It didn’t take us long to start talking and we instantly found common interests. We work in the same industry and our workplace is five minutes apart. I attempted to mingle with other women that night, get to know them but I was so intrigued by Cherrelle, I just wanted to know more about her. So I spent most of the night making light conversation with her and finding out about this beautiful girl I’d just met. At the end of the night I plucked up the courage to let her know that I thought she was cute, I liked her and wanted to see her again. She agreed and it was from that moment I got butterflies. With Cherrelle the butterflies have never gone away.
We met up in the same bar for our first real date. She walked in and I couldn’t believe how stunning she was. It was the first time I’d seen her with her hair down. She had these beautiful locks. As she sat down and we started to talk I remember zoning out at times and being transfixed by her eyes and smile. I was hooked! That night we laughed, a lot. The conversation flowed and I knew I’d found someone that was different to all the rest. She had my attention, I wanted to know more about her and definitely wanted to see her again. So, at the end of the night I plucked up the courage to kiss her goodbye. It was then I knew!
6. How did you know that you wanted a second date…?
I have always been very guarded, but I felt such a strong connection and Kay ticked all the boxes. We had so much in common and shared the same values and morals which I think is so important.
Forgetting all that typical connection stuff, every time she looked at me I got butterflies. I haven’t ever felt that before. She made me feel like I was the only person in the room and I was completely swept up in the moment. I felt it was only us and before we knew it, it was closing time.
I definitely wanted to see where this was going; there was no way I was letting her go.
Every date we went on after that made me fall for Cherrelle more and more. Her personality drew me in. I thought she was such an incredibly beautiful person, inside and out. It was so easy to be with her and spend time together. We had lots of similarities and our values matched. I started to realise after a short time together that I might be falling for her. As scary as that was she always reassured me by making sure I knew we were on the same page with how we felt about each other. I think that’s so important in any relationship, to have the balance right. We shared everything and talked about everything, even the scary stuff. I knew how she felt about me and vice versa.
7. What do you like to do together as a couple?
It sounds cheesy, but I love hearing about her day. Knowing that we have both kept things to ourselves and dealt with any problems that have come up on our own, it’s so nice to share that with someone and have that person care about you. Kay works so hard that sometimes she forgets how amazing she is. It’s nice to see her face as I remind her.
Laughing is another thing we do so well. We are always laughing. Finding a way to make each other smile is so effortless and comes so easily. We could be cooking or doing other ‘life’ things, and we just love being in each other’s company. Even on days where we might have had a rough day, we seem to be able to get through it together and still have a smile on our face by the end of the day.
We do the other couple stuff as well, watching films, going for meals, taking a boat trip in Stratford ;) but I have always said, it doesn’t matter what you do, you can make anything memorable and enjoyable if you are with the right person.
So its been 4 months and counting and I’m completely in love with Cherrelle. I know I’ve found my soulmate and when I think about the future I see us together. Ive never been this confident about any relationship I’ve had before. She makes sense and we fit together perfectly. I adore her.
One of the things I love most about our relationship is that we have each other to get through whatever each day brings. Whether it’s a tough day, a good day or a difficult time we always spend time in the day together checking in on each other, listening, sharing, picking each other up and making sure we give each other what we need. We still give time to other things in our lives, work, our families, friends, but we prioritise each other. She comes first for me and I know she’s got me in the same way.
8. What’s next for you both?
Life is looking bright for us. Rest assure, we will be together finding other ways to love, laugh and continue our love story.
We’re under no illusion that we’ll face challenges in our relationship along the way. We both know there’ll be times we need to work at our relationship and figure things out if we go off course. What’s important is that we’ve found the person that its worth making that effort for. I know there’s no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. So now I’ve found the one we have all the time in the world to just enjoy what life brings. There’s no rush for us, its just about taking each day as it comes and enjoying being together.
9. Is there anything else you would like to tell us?
I would just like to thank Pink Lobster for bringing me together with my soulmate. I never thought it was possible. All of those fairy-tales love stories I hoped I’d be able to experience one day, I always thought was merely a dream, I didn’t think I’d be that lucky. You have helped me find ‘the one’ and I cannot thank you enough.