I have spent years working with women and every day I meet women who inspire me in so many different ways. Similarly, I meet women who exude incredible attributes, yet choose not to focus on them. It is an honour and an opportunity to have been able to see women “in action” during dating events, mock dates as well as in our coaching and workshop days. All in all I have put together below my top 5 best ways to make yourself the ultimate catch… and still be YOU!
1. Be a good listener
You are probably fed up of this one and may believe that you have already developed good techniques in to how to actually listen. Let me tell you something else, so many women say they are listening, but when I see them they are NOT. This is how you listen successfully. Wherever you are and however noisy your environment, you will only be a great listener if you learn to zone in. Imagine that she is the only person in the room and focus on what she is saying (without being too intense). Ask her questions about what she is saying as this shows that you have heard what she is saying and are in fact interested. And do not look at your phone!
2. Be humble
We always emphasise the importance of exuding confidence and vitality when dating. Nonetheless, you can still be your confidence selves and be humble. Here’s how you can be both. When you are on a date stand tall and be proud of who you are. At the same time, when you are talking about your life and experiences etc. allow your date to be impressed gradually and do not focus on telling her how great you are, let her find out for herself and over time. What is more, being humble involves being nice to her. Remember this is a date and not an interview for a job, so pay her compliments even subtly.
3. Dress to impress
We work with all types of women, to those who don’t know what liquid eyeliner is to those who own 10 different brands in 5 variable colours. The point I am making here is that even if you prefer to dress down in your day to day life you ALWAYS need to make an effort when dating. It is important to be you. But as you would for work, an important family day or even a wedding you need to show your date that you are taking her seriously. We all know that when you get into a relationship we all make a bit less of an effort at home… and that’s ok! What is not ok is to turn up to a date as if you’ve already been married for 5 years. The women who make the most effort to look the best they can look have the most success.
4. Be in the moment
It is important that you are present when dating and be careful not to over think everything. We as women have a tendency to over analyse. If you are analysing you are not actually there with her, your mind is imagining rather than being present. Just have fun, relax and enjoy yourself, these are the most attractive women in the room.
5. Don’t rush
I can always tell a woman who is desperate. She is anxious, lacks eye contact and is not willing to just let things happen. Many women are so concerned about finding a woman with whom she can settle that they often panic. This leads to a number of different scenarios including endlessly dating for fear of “wasting” time on the wrong woman who may not be the one to just taking any old woman who comes along and then having lots of short term relationships. The key here is to take your time. Whilst it is important to feel a spark and a connection, it’s also important to enjoy the company of women and just see what happens. You can’t control everything!
In all my years working with women, following these top 5 tested tips will make a real difference in helping you find the best woman. I have many more tips and advice on how to be the best YOU. For more advice, you’ll just have to ask!